Is This Helpful Thinking or Rumination? A Guide for Anxious Minds

May 19

When you're struggling with anxiety or OCD, your mind can feel like it's in overdrive—constantly looping, questioning, analyzing, and second-guessing. One of the most important (and difficult) things to learn is how to tell the difference between wise thinking—which leads to clarity—and rumination, which keeps you stuck.

What Is Rumination?

Rumination is a mental trap. It feels like problem-solving, but it doesn’t actually lead to resolution. Instead, it spins you in circles.

If you live with anxiety or OCD, rumination can show up in sneaky ways:

Replaying conversations or events over and over
Imagining future scenarios and rehearsing what you’ll say or do
Asking “what if?” on repeat
Mentally analyzing every possible outcome—especially the worst-case ones
Seeking reassurance from yourself or others
Obsessing over finding the “right” answer, which never seems quite good enough

In the moment, it might feel like you're being responsible or thorough. But in reality, rumination fuels anxiety. It reinforces the belief that you must figure it all out, avoid every possible risk, and never make a mistake.

What Does Wise Thinking Look Like?

Wise thinking, on the other hand, is rooted in clarity and grounded decision-making. It’s the kind of thinking that helps you move forward instead of staying stuck.

Wise thinking:

Lays out the known facts without jumping to conclusions
Acknowledges uncertainty without trying to eliminate it entirely
Is guided by your values, not just your fears
Accepts that some things are out of your control
Leads to a decision, not just more mental spinning

When we process something wisely, we’re able to take a step back, look at the big picture, and respond rather than react. It’s like switching off the alarm system in your brain and turning on the wise, compassionate part of yourself.

A Quick Example

Let’s say you had an awkward conversation with a friend.

Ruminating mind: “What if she’s mad at me? I shouldn’t have said that. Maybe I need to text her again and explain. But what if that makes it worse? What if she never talks to me again? I’ll replay the whole conversation just to make sure I didn’t say anything offensive...”
Wise mind: “That conversation felt a little off. I’m not sure why, but I value honesty and connection. I can check in with her if I feel like that’s the right next step, or I can give it some space. I don’t need to keep analyzing this right now.”

Same situation, completely different mental energy.

How to Shift from Rumination to Wise Thinking

Shifting from rumination to wise thinking takes practice, especially if your brain is used to trying to think its way out of anxiety. Here are a few tools that can help:

Name it: When you catch yourself spiraling, gently name it: “This is rumination.”
Ground in values: Ask, “What choice aligns with my values, not just what reduces anxiety right now?”
Accept uncertainty: Remind yourself, “I can’t be 100% certain, and that’s okay.”
Limit mental checking: Set time boundaries for reflection, and gently redirect when you notice yourself ruminating again.
Talk it through: A therapist can help you notice the difference between wise thinking and anxious spiraling, and give you tools to strengthen your wise mind.

Rumination can feel compelling, even productive—but it’s rarely either. However, thinking wisely will help us make decisions, show up in alignment with our values, and live a more grounded life. The next time your thoughts are racing, pause and ask: Am I trying to solve a problem, or am I stuck trying to feel certain?

Learning to think wisely doesn’t mean you never feel anxious—it means you’re no longer letting anxiety run the show.